what would happen if Damon made a VD test?
by Whitedraft
Summary: What would happen if Damon made a VD test? find out here! rated T cause Damon goes totally MAD!


What would happen if Damon made a Vampire Diaries Test? Find out here!

"_Great! Alone here again!"_ Damon growled with anger "_I can't believe Stefan let me stuck in this lame house all day! Like I don't have any social life! I'm so gonna kill that bastard when he gets in here!_" he scream with his eyes vamplike

His brother was a pain in the ass and a goody goody two shoes. Wasn't a big shock. But this time he had gone too far. Locking him in his own house for the entire day! Just because he killed that jackass of Mason! Right, like the bastard didn't deserve it! The son of a bitch just tried to kill them! For gods sake!

Whatever, it was already 3p.m and he had finished his quota of patience. He already done everything to keep himself amused and it had been hopeless.

Definitely. When his "loved" brother returns home, he was going to beat the shit out of him. And then he could go after Elena. Oh, that was a good plan!

But right now he had to think in something that kept him entertained for the next 3 hours. But it was a problem:

Damon was bored. And he didn't like to be bored.

After going to the front yard and shoot some pigeons and squirrels with his old dad's rifle, he sat on the couch with his brother's computer.

That's right. He just claimed his computer.

He turned it on and connected the Internet. Then, spend the following 15 minutes surfing in the net looking for any crap that could amuse him. Until one link call his attention:

"Vampire diaries quiz! Have fun and then copy this in your profile!"

Well that was sure a weird coincidence, he thought. But he was just so much bored and that lame quiz seemed interesting. So he pressed the link and was instantly redirected to a page called "all about TVD". In the page, mostly decorated in black, appeared the quiz. Really, it seemed interesting. So he poured some scotch in his glass, sat again in the couch and started reading the fist question:

**00.) randomly list twelve of your favorite Vampire Diaries characters:**

"_What the hell?"_ he said out loud _"why would I pick twelve of the useless idiots I'm sentenced to coexist with?_" he frowned. But the hell, he was bored, and besides he already had started the test so he had to continue:

ME! (of course)

Elena (what? She's hot!)

Ric (we're so badass together ;)

Bonnie (because she's not that useless. When she wants)

Jeremy (that kid pisses me out. But he could be a good scapegoat)

Stefan (just because I want to piss him of)

Tyler (I kill his uncle. I owe him)

Caroline (the little midget's so annoying. But keep Edwards Cullen clone busy)

Matt (I don't know. I just like him)

Katherine (she's a manipulate bitch. I know. But man he could treat a man well ;)

Jenna (I know she want me)

john (I hate him. I want to see him suffer in hell. Period)

**01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?**

What the hell is a fanfic? Wait I'll check

***he opened another window and goggled it* **

aah, that's what it is. Well what a stupid waste of time! I mean doesn't the guys who do that have a life or something? Whatever, I've never read something like that before! And I never will!

***five minutes later***

"_Hey! This crap is good! There's a lot of fics about me on here! And __they're all so cool!_" he smirked. _"oh right, the quiz. I forgot!_"

**Anwer: **Stefan/Jenna? O.o WTF? Seriously? I've gotta say she's way too much for Steffie. But hey! That'd be a great idea for make Elena breaks up with him!

***evil laugh***

**02.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?**

Bonnie? She's _fine_. She has this all sexy witch thing going on. I'll totally do her that I can tell.

**03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?**

John got Caroline pregnant? Well that doesn't surprise me at all. The midget's a slut.

But, John? I'll be like WTF? O.O

**04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?**

Ok, why the f*ck I'd read fics about Matt in the first place? Do I look gay to you or something? Cause if so, you're DEAD!

**05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?**

Elena & Stefan. They're _already_ dating you idiot! And they're all happiness and kissing and sunshine…ok I think I'm gonna throw up.

But if you ask me they suck as a couple. She'll be _way_ better with me that with that unshiny Edward's clone

**06.)Five/Nine or Five/Ten?**

Jeremy/ Matt or Jeremy/Katherine? WTF in what sick world would that happen? O.O...emm, I'll think I'll just go with the gay couple. Although it sounds gross, I don't hate the kid that much to pair him with Katherine.

**07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Twelve and Two having sex?**

Tyler walking over Elena and John having sex?...EWW HOW SICK ARE HOU? They're f*cking father and daughter!

**08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic?**

Ok, that's it. Do I look like a lame no-life writer to you? And why do I even choose Alaric and Katherine for a fic? Bastards can die for all I care!

But seeing that I cannot continue unless I answer the question I think I'll be:

_Alaric pisses of Katherine. Katherine __kills the shit out of him. Then the bitch jumps off of a cliff and die. THE END :)…_wow I've got talent!

**09.)Is there such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?**

Me and the midget (AKA Caroline)?...are you out of your freaking mind! There's NEVER going to be one. And if it does, I'll just kill the bastard that made it.

**10.)Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic:**

Tyler/ John? Ummh…"you're a looser but I kinda like you anyways"?

**11.)What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?**

Bonnie to de-flower me? Are you kidding right?...I _invented_ the word de-flower ;)

**12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?**

Whait, what the hell is slash?

***googled it* *five minutes ago***

EWW YOU PEPOLE ARE SICK!...what kind of disturbed freak would read that?...although…maybe Stefan does :O

**13.)Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?**

kay, I don't know what the f*ck het is, and after the last question I don't even wanna know…

**14.)Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?**

Jenna? I don't think so. She's _so_ a background character.

**15.)Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?**

Elena/Bonnie/Jeremy? Elena and Jeremy are brothers you SICK SICK SICK-O! And besides…who will fall for an annoying emo pigmy?

**16.)What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?**

Been there. Done that. And trust me, you _don't _wanna know…

**17.****) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?**

Caroline?...umhh…"I'm a Barbie girl?" You know, that kind of crap

**18.****) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?**

Me/Stefan/Jonh?...YOU SICK SICK SICK-O! YOU ARE_ SO_ GONNA DIE!

*******Sound of something crashing and breaking in the floor* **

Warning: YOU READ IT, YOU'RE DEAD!

**19.)What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?**

A pick-up line for Katherine to use on Elena?...well that's something I'd definitely pay to see…maybe "why don't we see _how much_ do we look like? ;)

**20.)When was the last time you read a fic about Five?**

Jeremy? I don't even like the pigmy, why the hell I'd read something about him?

**21)What is Six's super-secret kink?**

He _really_ likes bunnies…that's all I'll say xD

**22.)Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or Sober?**

Jenna and Matt?...eww, what is this, Cougar Town?...of course drunk

**23.)If Three and Seven got together, who would on top?**

Alaric/Tyler? EWW YOU PEOPLE ARE SO F*CKING SICK!...probably Alaric

**24.)"One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name one person who should write it:**

Me and Matt (the bastard who wrote this is _so_ gonna DIE!) are in a happy relationship until Matt suddenly runs off with Four (pff…like I care).

Me, broken-hearted, have a hot one-night stand with eleven (yeah, baby ;)) and a brief unhappy affair with Jonh (ok the writer's DEAD!), then follow the wise advice of Jeremy and finds true love with Alaric…

I F*CKING HATE THIS STORY! I´LL KILL YOU WRITERS ONE BY ONE! DON'T GO TO SLEEP TONIGHT!

Tittle: "what the hell is this?"

Author: R.I.P

**25.) Finally…what do you think about this test?**

Oh, what do I think? Let me see…I think you all should GO TO $·&$%& A SQUIRREL AND THEN ·%&/i))))((/(%$/$·$(/%(( AND FINALLY SHOVE IT INTO YOUR ·/&$/($/(&/)&)/)%&/%$)%/%&/)(&)(/&)(/)/ YOU SON OF A BITCH/·((/&)(()()=&%$%$·%$·&%$%&$&(%(()$$/%/&($/$·$(%··"%$$/&%/&%(/%(/%(/…

*2 hours later*

"_I'm finally home"_ Stefan sighed with relief. The day had been truly exhausting and the only thing he wanted was to take a hot nice bath and read a good book near the fireplace _"just want a peaceful night…"_

He opened the door slowly. Everything was dark and quiet. But suddenly he started hearing some angry growls coming from the library:

"_AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD ALL BURN IN HELL AND GO SCREW A BUNNY WITH MY BASTARD AND P__USSY BROTHER! YOU SONS OF BITCHES!...AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR STUPID QUIZZ AND SHOVE IT INTO YOUR…"_

Stefan sighed with tiredness and closed the door of the library. Apparently his brother had found the way to kept him entertained for the past hours.

But he just wanted to rest, so he took the library's key and locked his brother on it. Then he hid the key in an old vase.

Luckily, his brother wouldn't realize until he stopped screaming. Meanwhile, he could have that hot bath.

And then he'll unlock his brother

Some day.

…**..**

**So what do you guys think? This idea came to me in one moment of boredom. Hope you like it! R&R!**


End file.
